Sad Day for the Girl Next Door
Ooh, I don’t know if you’ve all been following the big buzz: Archie finally proposed after all these years…TO VERONICA.
'Bout time, Arch. Good for you.
That’s right. This comic book icon that’s been all over every medium from gum wrappers to online comics finally committed…the cardinal American sin. And people are up in arms about it.
For those unaware of the story, here it is. It’s the classic American love triangle: Archie loves Betty, Betty plays hard to get, Veronica (the vixen) is always there to throw a wrench into an otherwise bland boy-loves-girl story. Awesome.
But here’s what’s so interesting to me about this public outcry over the fact that the Archie Gang (now well into middle age) has defied convention…that Archie actually asked the “hot, slutty” girl to marry him after all these years of pining hopelessly (and fruitlessly) over Betty. Betty has been the ungettable get for too long. And now that she’s finally gotten what her coy little self deserves (Archie moving on to someone who’s openly wanted him for, well, ever), we’re angry. We feel sorry for Betty. Because that’s not how the story ends. What else could Betty have done but what she did…we asked her to play that role and we promised her that in the end, she’d be happy. And now Veronica is wearing her ring.
Good, I say. Betty totally screwed this one up. Maybe I speak from a standpoint heavily informed by the fact that I’ve never had guys falling all over me (far from it, actually. Usually I intimidate them…which I will never totally understand) but, I look at this story (and the countless number of real stories that look exactly the same) and I think Betty’s been an ass. Archie’s tied himself in knots trying to get her attention and she’s been stringing him along (for, like, 15 years now). How long does she possibly think he’s going to put up with that?!? Seriously. It’s embarrassing for him and heartless for her. But isn’t it interesting that we side with her when he asks Veronica because Betty’s done what every “good girl” should do…we expect her to be rewarded for playing the part of “ideal girl.” We’ve done Betty a disservice in leading her to believe that messing with Archie’s mind for so long is something that will be rewarded with his love and loyalty in the end. Only if Archie’s a total idiot would that happen.
Now, I know…you’re reading this thinking, “Kate…seriously…it’s a comic book…who cares?” This story is not a comic book. I talk to many men who are Archie and have chosen their Betty and regret it. Why? Because if we take Betty at face value (and put out of our minds “the ideal girl” idea), she’s a manipulative bitch. And there’s nothing to indicate she won’t continue to be that. Meanwhile, Veronica (the hot, slutty girl as we’ve cast her) has done nothing but show Archie how she feels about him. Archie is the real winner here. He’s chosen the girl (now woman) who has given him every reason to believe she loves him…for real. Good for you, Arch. Nicely played.
Of course, this isn’t the end of this story. Archie Comics has already said there’s 5 issues left, which means they’ll totally bow to the crush of complaints from readers wanting the Fairytale Ending. Veronica will be left heartbroken, (“As every slut deserves,” we’ll say) and Betty will be featured on the next episode of Bridezillas and we’ll all clap Archie on the back and given him that hang-dog, “Man…what are you getting yourself into?” look of satisfaction. Because that’s how the story should end.
It’s a sad day for the girl next door…not because she didn’t get the proposal. It’s because she’ll never learn that what’s she’s doing is anything but “cute” and “coquettish.” It’s actually kind of gross. And we’ve all asked her to be that.