Eating Myself out of House and Home
I can’t stop eating.
“It’s crazy,” I say sitting here, having just inhaled a donut after eating a sandwich and fries for lunch. What. the. heck. This has been going on for two weeks and I’m starting to get concerned.
Now, before you go hurling the fat-jokes around (which is something only I do…almost no one hurls fat jokes at me anymore…which is good because I’d kick ‘em in the nuts and then twist their nose), this is a novel occasion because I’m just that hungry.
There’s no doubt, I’m an emotional eater. This is evidenced in my “soft” exterior which, I think, clearly corresponds to my consistently high levels of stress. I will also claim with a serious face that I have an “athletic build”…I do, because working out nets me huge American-Gladiator-like muscles. They look cool when I’m really toned, but they’re also mammoth. When I’m working out I go from round to square. What I wouldn’t do to find “slim” in there somewhere. Anyway, this tendency plus the emotional eating has always equalled “Katie shops in the plus-size section.” (Which was completely hilarious last week when I went shopping with a friend of mine…The Lady, for those who know her…who was particularly unembarrassed by plus size shopping. Every store she walked into she would go up to the sales person and loudly…and I mean loudly…announce “My friend needs the plus size section…No the PLUS sizes.” It was strangely comforting that she wasn’t apologetic about it. Meanwhile, I’m like diving behind any rack I can find wheezing in her direction, “Uh, yeah, okay let’s just go…” and the salespeople were like, “Why are you shouting?”)
Anyway, what I’m not used to is the hunger. This is functional eating that’s going on here, not emotional, and it’s just always there. When I eat, it makes it worse. Conundrum: When I don’t eat…it’s just as bad. AHHHH. Of course, anyone else would find this a fantastic problem to have. I, however, am imagining the shoe-horning that’s have to go on to get into my favorite jeans…which are, everyone together now, plus size.
I’m trying not to freak too much and just enjoy the ride. Maybe this is justice for those three or four months last year when, because of extreme horrible stress, I just didn’t eat anything (Cruel irony there: I’m wearing the same jeans today as I did then…all of that time I could’ve been eating jelly donuts everyday). But I’m starting to worry about things like “cholesterol” and “heart disease.”
Maybe I’ll just eat this here Toblerone and contemplate it for awhile.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:53 am
It sounds like yeast. We have that issue… it’s biological usually… Noah used to eat pounds of pasta (he was only two), and at three, Annelise could eat 4 full sized ice cream sandwiches. In fact for awhile she refuse to eat anything but ice cream sandwiches, other than Betty Crocker frosting, which she ate out of the container, with a large spoon. Pretty much drugs fixed it. (natural stuff… not cheap… but worth it.) There’s also insulin resistance… we have that too… I’m hoping to design doctoral research on some of this stuff (the relationship of underlying biological predisposing factors and social conditioning in regard to societal weight/food attitudes), thus, my interest.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Amy…seriously…this is the quote of the day for me. And while I know you’re totally serious and, because I cannot understand at all what you’re talking about, will have to explain it to me in person one day, I think this is the answer to a lot of questions.
Why am I so lethargic? It sounds like yeast.
Why is it so rainy today? It sounds like yeast.
What’s this purple splotch on my left cheek? It sounds like yeast.
Really, the possibilities are endless…
September 1st, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Ok but ironically #1 & 3 are very often associated with yeast, which can also can flare up on rainy days…humidity…I dont need a fake client to videotape for abt another year (practicum) so let’s just meet either at church or for drinks.