The Weird Universe
I just noticed today that I haven’t written in awhile because life in Chicago (which is sweltering in a 90-degree heat blanket that won’t go away) has become both listless and busy. It’s a paradox. But as I walk down the street, I’ve been noticing weird things happening; also as I check Facebook and e-mail (occasionally, of course…okay 90x an hour) I find just weirdnesses. Maybe it’s the heat…which would explain why New Orleans (okay, all of the Deep South) seems fully of crazies. Here’s a list of the latest and least explicable:
1. A car burst into flames in front of my building on Monday night, filling my apartment with smoke and making me believe I was going to have to jump out my window (of course, I have back stairs but you know how panic can affect even the most rational mind.)
Here’s the aftermath. The charred remains were particularly disturbing in person and, though it’s been towed, no one will park in that spot…it remains open…perhaps as a memory of the innocent and fallen.
2. On Facebook today I had no less than 20 “pages you might like” suggestions based on what my friends have recently “liked.” Included and making sense were Starbucks and Free Things to Do in Chicago. Included and making no sense were KFC, Sex and the City: The 2nd AWFUL movie, kittens, and the Twilight series (which incidentally had over 8 MILLION fans)…needless to say, none of them got my “like” of approval.
3. Several Fridays ago as Andras (my current couch-crashing, Marx-loving, Hungarian friend) and I were out and about running errands we personally saw three people hit the deck. We also saw blood shed on those incidents. One involved a motorized scooter and a woman carrying a VCR in a box. On that same day we actually witnessed a guy get hit by a car, turn around and walk back to the corner, at which point he and the driver “worked it out.” Seriously. I’m still scarred by this particularly series of events.
4. Last night I (and Andras) ate dinner with virtual strangers (one of them was a former student of his that he “kinda” knew). It was 4 hours long. And I ended up going to their apartment which…it right across the street from mine…and met their dog Peanut and cat Tomato and saw their balcony garden and the guy’s (David’s) humongous oil paintings. I felt like I was in a Willy Wonka movie. The Johnny Depp one.
5. My brother Andy told me he bought a book for me. It’s by Glenn Beck. It’s the one lying on his bathroom floor. Exactly where EVERY piece of shit Glenn Beck produces should be located. I left it there as a symbol of its appropriateness.
6. This morning I did yoga on the beach at 6:30am. When we started the lake was placid and clear. After a pose sequence we did with our eyes closed, it was so hot already that steam was rising off the surface of the lack. I think I witnessed the birth of humidity. I was appalled.
7. Last week I bought 2 new pairs of flip-flops, one pair with a little bit of a wedge heel and one pair flat. For the next two days I referred to the pair with the heels as “my dress shoes.” No one questioned it. Riiiiiight.
8. I’ve been craving Thai and sushi for 3 weeks. Thai, unfortunately, I always crave on Mondays and as any connoisseur of Thai food knows…they’re always closed on Mondays . Yesterday we planned to go for sushi and in my head I was like, “Sweet…thank god it’s not Monday.” When we got there it was closed. For the summer, they decided to close on Tuesdays instead. Argh.
I usually like to end on an odd number but I seem destined to be foiled by this weirdo universe these days. Thus, despite wracking my brain, I can only think of 8 really good things right now. But consider it just a taste of what’s been going on around here…which is heat-induced nuttiness.
Oooh…I thought of one more:
9. Yesterday we were watching the World Cup game between Uruguay and the Netherlands (which, by the way, have you ever considered the actual name of that country? The Netherlands….like the Hinterlands only a smidge closer? Further south?). The Dutch (who hail, inexplicably from the Netherlands…why not call them the Nethers?) won. Andras was convinced and argued seriously that it was because of the effects of colonialism. To reiterate…he wasn’t joking. I was actually speechless.
Give me a great #10 from your life and you’ll make my whole day…if only to prove that it’s not just my own little microcosm that’s gone all helter-skelter.