One of the things I’m having a hard time convincing my non-academic (aka “normal”) friends about is the degree to which reinvention becomes a necessary and important step in this whole process. And, in turn, how quickly disillusionment can set back in. It creeps. It seeps. It drips. I hate that. I wish disillusionment was a solid. I could just close the door on it and deal with the pounding. No. Instead, it oozes.
Anyway, today is the first day that I’ve had in this 2009 year to return to the idea that 3 days a week are devoted fully to school work. I’ve been teaching for the past semester with the best intentions of doing everything and it didn’t work. But what it did do was make me so antsy to get back to this that I’ve re-found a new kind of motivation. I’ve dealt with the intellectual implications. I’ve crossed the threshold of that looming, dark, foul place we around here like to call “the library,” and I’m ready to go again.
I’ll address the fear and the structure of the day later. Let’s just say, this Monday is the first day of the rest of my life. Until Wednesday, I’m sure, when something shiny, with blinking flashing lights shows up and steals my attention away.
Nah. I think I’m past it.