You know, the thing about hitting the bottom of the barrel is that there’s a new beginning inevitable at some point in the near future. I’m pretty sure that’s a famous quote. But the thing about some of my past new beginnings is that, yes, it was a restart but only that. I didn’t necessarily change course or incorporate new information. I just got back on the treadmill, if you will. And made the same old mistakes again. Rinse and repeat.
I’ve made a couple new beginnings in the past week, borne from the realization that it’s my job to take my life in my own hands. I’m not sure where I got this “fly where the wind takes me attitude,” but it has never really served. So, I’m switching it up and taking the bull by the horns. But this time, I am cautiously stepping back into the arena fully conscious of the fact that I cannot do exactly what I’ve done before and hope for different outcomes.
What am I talking about?
I’m afraid to try, I’m afraid to enlist other people for help immediately, and I give up too easily.
There it is. I’ve said it and…..
….I’ve lived. Okay. Step 1: Acknowledge your failings is complete.
There are multiple changes in the works, from the most mundane things like “rearrange your bedroom” to big life plans–things I’ve been thinking about for at least 10 years–like “buy a house” that stay on the same drafting table in piles of priority, just collecting dust and June’s 10 million dog hairs a day because of these three things. It’s taken years of active avoidance to create these conclusions; I don’t come to this blind.
So, how do I break these patterns? Try. Just start. I think…is the answer. And as I head down whatever change paths I’m hoping to create, I have to consciously notice at which points I give in and let one of these take over.
Practically, if I’m to create a mantra going forward to address each of these in more specific terms to some of the changes I want to create, I think this means:
- Just take the first step. Once I’ve got momentum, I can do most things
- Find your experts and enlist them. Don’t be afraid to ask. You are worth it.
- Hope is not lost. Keep going. That which is meant for you will find you at the right time.
Okay, I lied. Those aren’t specific at all. But they make sense to me…and this is my tent on the beach so…job well done. Step 2: Get a plan is in the books.
Commence Step 3: Implement and Step 4: Pray to God simultaneously. They’re parallel steps. It’ll be fine.
My Tent on the Beach 